Writing Exercise

OK, bad joke.  Here's a writing prompt for you.  Dialogue between two characters can be the perfect launching pad into a good piece of writing.  So here's a scene for you...

Two women are in the group fitness room at their gym, laying out their mats and starting to stretch in preparation for a yoga class.  They are the only ones there, and after a few minutes, they find that odd, because the class is usually packed.  The instructor is no where to be found either.  Turns out they're the only ones who don't know the class was canceled.  Write the scene and their dialogue as they first wonder what's going on, are confused, then figure it out, and then does their conversation move on to something else?  What are they each going to do instead of the class?  Did they realize they know each other in some way?  Do they become friends?  Do they end up fighting?  Do they share their thoughts about the instructor, other people in the class?  Do something with the set-up.  Anything you want.

If you love your results, let me know or post a comment here.

Getting Local

You know, it's not all about getting your novel published.  There's a lot of writing to be done, down to the local level.  Are you doing any of it?  There's very small area local newspapers wherever you look.  Now there are even ultra-local web portals and blogs popping up.  There are regional periodicals and newsletters.  There are local charities and organizations that could use press releases and feature articles written about them.

Do you belong to any clubs?  Do they ever email their membership?  Are you involved in putting the email together?  Keeping their website fresh?  Do they have an event coming up that they'd like the region to know about?  Keep your writing chops sharp.  Volunteer to write for them.  Pitch article ideas to your local newspaper (don't offer to volunteer for that, charge!).  You don't have to wait for Alfred A. Knopf to come calling... besides he's dead.

Happy Comic Con!

OK, to celebrate Comic Con, see how I didn't make this 'all about me?'  I could have done 'to celebrate my birthday' today, but I didn't.  I could have done to celebrate 10/10/10, but I didn't.  Nope, I didn't have to start this out by pointing out it's my birthday today.  I said, 'to celebrate Comic Con.'  See how humble I am?

To celebrate Comic Con, let's do a character profile.  Come up with your own superhero or comic book character.  Do they have a special power?  How did they come by it?  Are they from this planet and were infected or poisoned by something?  Are they some other species or are the from another planet?

Is their superpower particularly useful?  How would you use it to fight crime and evil?  What if your hero were actually a villain?  How would they use their superpower for personal gain, committing crime, subjugating the masses, etc?

If you enjoyed this, then do it up a full second time with... who is this superhero arch-nemesis?  OK, you're writers, so antagonist.  What is their superpower or what makes them able to fight the other.

We could take this a lot further, so if you want to, DO!  Oh, and I give you my blessing to make this really silly.  Enjoy....

Back to Writing - Exercise

This time I want to bring you a prompt that sets you up for writing something that could become a pretty lengthy short story, even a novel.  This is one inspired by the fact that next week it's my birthday.  Yes, on 10/10/10!  And also, I guess I should give a shout-out to Mrs. Dalloway, though I don't really want to.

Your main character is having a party.  Is it later today, tomorrow, in a week?  A group of people (1, 2, 8, 50?) are going to descend on the character's (his/her) home.  Well, she (okay, I'm sick of writing him/her/character, I'm just gonna go with she, but you choose the gender) has to prepare!  Does she wake up, look around the house and realize it's a mess, so she starts cleaning?  Is it a garden party, so she has to mow and rake and tend to the yard/patio/garden?  Is she alone in her preparations, or is it she surrounded by family/children/spouse/partner?  Maybe the other person/s is the problem, not being ready?  Is she going about the prep nervous, happy, calm, frantic?  Guess that has a lot to do with when this party is too.  Is the party expected, surprise, did she forget about it, major life event or simple get-together, tea, brunch, garden party, photography shoot or interview?

All right, those are a lot of questions, and I don't want to lead you down any one path.  I just mean to say before you launch into random nothing, put it out, who is she (okay he/she), what is this party, when is it, and what is it she needs to get done beforehand?  [And does she get it done?  To her own satisfaction, to those of her guests?]

Go write something... and please don't have her go walk to buy flowers... ugh!

How Do I Find a Literary Agent

More to the point, how do I find a literary agent that's right for me?

OK, I know, it's daunting, and you feel like it's another hoop you have to get through to get your book published.  So let me cut to the chase and answer that question first.  Yes.  Yes, it is.  It's another hoop between you and getting published.  But seriously, let's look at the math of it.  Say you were hiring for a position in your office.  And you got 8,000,000 resumes.  I think you're following me already.  But I'll continue.  Hit fast-forward through the commercials if you need to.  So back in the day, editors would field these submissions directly, because not everyone on your block thought they could write a novel, but these days, they just don't have the time to do all that and work with the authors they do have under contract to get the books out that they've already bought.  Let's face it.  If you write directly to an editor at a publishing company, or even a worse idea, if you send in your full complete manuscript unsolicited, and everyone else were doing that, too, it would go into a pile of 8,000,000 boxes.  Your chances of getting published wouldn't be any better than the process that the system has put in place: getting a literary agent to represent you and make the submission to the right editors at the right houses.  [And you NEED a literary agent for oh so many reasons I will get to later.]

So you want to get published.  So what do you do?  You've heard the answer so many times, but you just don't want to listen.  Well, sorry, you should listen.  Do not send your complete book out unsolicited.  Rule #1: There Is No Back Door.  You must get an agent to represent you in submitting your book to publishing companies.  'But they won't even read my novel.'  You're a writer.  You can write a pitch letter.  If after reading your letter, they want to read a few chapters, they'll ask you to send it in later.

So what literary agent should I write to?  How do I find a literary agent?  Sing praise to the Internet, kids.  Imagine how much harder it was in the olden days of 1987.  As I mentioned in a previous post about editors, literary agents have tastes, too.  They each like what they like.  First rule of thumb: they like what's going to sell.  Literary agents are even more focused on the bottom line than an editor at a publishing company.  They want what they think they are going to be able to get a deal for.  But yes, they have personal preferences.  If you've written a romance novel, you don't want Joe Dude agent who typically sells espionage thrillers representing you.  So how do you find the RIGHT literary agent for you?  You can Google for 'literary agents who specialize in romance.'  Or a myriad of other keyword searches.  You can get onto Publishers Marketplace or find other directories of agents.  All so easily these days with an Internet connection and a good search.

The best way to find the perfect agent?  Go onto your own bookshelf or into a bookstore.  Identify the novelists that you are most similar to.  The ones you will be compared to.  The ones you aspire to be like.  Open their book and read the acknowledgments section.  Every author thanks their literary agent.  If they don't, they're not very nice.  It's like, 'I'd like to thank the academy....'  That's the person who got you the book deal.  Guess what, ... you thank them!  So write to those agents first!

A great way to find a literary agent, or at least to meet several of them all in one place at one time is to go to a writers' conference.  Typically over a long weekend, these conferences offer industry professionals (editors and agents) who attend as well as other writers just like you looking to get their big book noticed.  But the conference will offer panel discussions, cocktail parties, meet and greets, and really wonderful: one on one meet and greets with agents!

So you found that agent you want to write to.  You're not supposed to just send your entire manuscript, so what do you do?  Here it is: a one page letter.  Yes, it's absolutely okay (and preferable) if you can get an email address and send that one page letter as an email instead of a physical letter.  Before you've even written this letter about your book, even before the first sentence, the agent is already thinking, OK, is this something that's going to sell... so even more important than what's in your book, what it's about, or how good your writing is, is this: who are you.

So in that letter tell the agent:

who you are

what you've already done

what you do as a writer

do you have any audience already (are you a blogger, journalist,... etc)

what genre does your work fit into; what already-published successful works would you compare it to

what makes your book unique; what is your big spin

In this day and age, in that letter, you can include links to your blog, Facebook page, links to articles you've written, etc.  But do NOT submit your entire manuscript!  No, really, don't.  Really not even the first chapter or a sample chapter or an outline or the TOC.  If they WANT to read it, they'll ask you to see more.

Those are the rules.  Let's face it.  You don't want to stand out because you DON'T know what you're doing or you're not doing it right.  Because people will think you're going to act like that through the entire process.

OK, that's my post on how to find a literary agent.  There's so much more, so much more detail.  But for now, that's what you get.  I'll next give you a post on 'what does my literary agent do for me.'  Maybe I'll go back to some writing prompts and exercises first.

For now, don't worry about it until you've actually WRITTEN SOMETHING.  So get back to work!  Email me at SMHIOF@gmail.com or just post a comment here if you have any questions...

Is Your Book Worth More than a Slush Pile?

It is estimated that there are 8,000,000 people in the US who are actively writing a novel.  Certainly most of them will never finish, but that's what you're up against.  Sorry.  But let's be honest here.  So please listen to rule #1... don't sent it out unsolicited!  Especially not the entire thing!

I just want to start out by urging you against turning your hard work into what is referred to as 'slush.'  OK, first of all, if anyone is calling it the 'slush pile,' really, is that where you want your book to go?  Chances are it will either be put in a literal pile, and a group of editorial assistants once a month will begrudgingly agree, in exchange for free pizza, to go through all of them, or there is one person who gets all of them delivered to his or her desk, and he/she hates going through it even more than the assistants at the other company.  Do you think any of those 8,000,000 could possibly be not very good writers?  Or maybe they're a little crazy?  Guess what they do... yep... they send their book around willy-nilly unsolicited, so do you want your manuscript in that pile?  With them?  Because here is something no one will tell you... when those manuscripts are read, by the group of assistants or that one person who does it daily... they have a great time, laughing and laughing and laughing... at the really really bad writing.  I'll ask you again, do you want your manuscript that you've slaved away at for over 2,000 hours in that pile?

Everyone has specific tastes, right?  I don't read women's romantic fiction (OK, actually, sometimes I do, but I would never admit that... please don't tell anyone).  I don't read hard science fiction, but I love dark fantasy, post-apocalyptic stories, horror, fantasy.  I don't read touchy-feely, find your heart, hidden-Christian-message junk writing (you can insert author names here).  If you were a friend of mine, and you wrote a story about a husband who uses the spirit of Christmas to reconnect with his love for his wife and family, even if it were to end up two years later on the bestseller list, I would have hated it when you asked me to read it.  Editors have tastes, too.  And some of them actually have very specific areas they're even allowed to publish into.  Oh, heck, some publishing companies stipulate what they'll publish.  I've heard of some pretty funny stories of slush sent to the totally wrong person: a science fiction editor at a science fiction publishing company who receives a romance novel.  If that is the very best romance novel ever written, he's still not going to publish it.

So, do you know what editors like what at every different publishing company?  No, so what do you?  You get someone to represent you who knows the best chance of you getting published.  You get an agent.  My next post will be about how you find a literary agent.  Hey, I can't give away everything in one post.  And you need to go write!

Wrong Number

Did you ever get a wrong number, or these days, wrong text message?  I just got one the other day that was so funny.  Someone texted me asking if I wanted to go riding again.  I didn't know what kind of riding they meant, horse, bike, ... I texted back and said, I'm sorry I don't know what you mean, riding, and who is this?  And they replied back and said it's me, we met on our Harleys the other day, you were with a mutual friend Jeremy, and he introduced us.

I simply replied and said, sorry you've got the wrong number.  But I was left with so many questions. Was this a man or a woman?  Was this person contacting me directly, leapfrogging Jeremy, because they/he/she was interested in me?  OK, not ME, but the me I was supposed to be from the ride.  Did he/she get the phone number on the ride, because I didn't remember giving them my number (OK, just kidding).  Or did Jeremy give the number and get it wrong?

I want to fill in the story.  It's kinda intriguing.  But never gonna get the story, because it was a wrong number.

Write out a conversation, whether it's text-messages, Tweets, a phone conversation, or emails, that is a wrong number.  Does it go too far?  How awkward does it get?  Do they parties realize they do actually know each other?  Do they end up being confrontational or maybe they connect in some way?

Come on, you know it'll be fun....

BOO!!!!

In honor of my good friend Gary Jansen's new book, HOLY GHOSTS: How a (Not So) Good Catholic Boy Became a Believer in Things That Go Bump in the Night, about his experiences dealing with the weird and creepy things that were happening in his new house, let's talk paranormal.

Can anyone believe how this craze in paranormal has taken off?  Really, it started with Harry Potter.  Though we don't necessarily lump magic and sorcery in with the term paranormal as a genre, wands and spells are certainly para -- normal.  OK, OK, I've taken long enough to say the word: vampires.

There are many standards for paranormal.  Vampires, werewolves, ghosts, possessions, immortals/gods, fairies, zombies, demons, angels, gollums (OK, I use that word instead of simply saying Frankenstein's monster, but what I mean is created/sewn/built animated creatures).

I know I have a solid vampire novel inside of me.  I've been holding off working on it, because I don't want to be a tail-ender on the trend.  Besides, my vampires are old-school.  They don't boink you, they kill you.  Zombies will be making a big surge soon, especially if the movie of World War Z ever comes out.

But let's focus on the good old, tried-and-true, spooky haunted house ghost story.  I guess the first thing you have to decide if you're writing a ghost story is: will your haunting be explained, or will it be a hoax, a complete mystery even at the end of your story, let's face it: is it really a ghost?

OK, I know I"m rambling a bit now.  But we've all heard of the haunted house.  How come there's never been a good haunted condo story?  All right, I digress.

Come on, you know you've always wanted to... write the set up: location, background, characters, story of a good ghost story.  Lots of different questions to answer can help you start:

What's the place (or person?) that is haunted?

Does the living person know the ghost?

How did the ghost die?

Why is the ghost hanging around?

Does the living person believe in the ghost?

Who's the second living person, either an unbeliever or an antagonist of some type?

Is this evil or lost soul or possession or what?  I personally am tired of the ghost looking to get justice for their murderer, but go with what you want.  Also sick of the loved one who can't let go.

What's the ghost's motivation?

It's Labor Day weekend.  Just have fun.  And be glad I didn't go with a woman-in-Labor exercise (tee hee)....

Today -- on the couch

Today I'm out sick from work.  Nothing horrible, just a really unhappy stomach.  I shouldn't have made those baked jalapenos stuffed with cheese last night.

A day out of sorts or out of your regular routine is a great setting start-off point for a story.  Something out of the ordinary is of course one of the very first rules of what makes a good story.

So write a story about someone who takes a sick day, settles down on the couch, maybe watches a television show that they never get to see usually, like the Today Show or Good Morning America.  They have the tea and toast or coffee put in place.  Maybe they're wrapped in a blanket, still in the 'jamas, or maybe they're surrounded by tissues.  The only plan in their head is rest and relax.  But those plans are changed or complicated by something.

Did the roommate also call in sick?  Now it's two of them on the couch?

Did work call and say they are absolutely needed?

Does the power go out?

Does your character catch a burglar? (ooh, that reminds me of a great novel called, PS Your Cat is Dead)

Does your character decide to go to the doctor, or E.R?

Take it wherever it can go.

Great Monologue

I have two ideas for you.  Remember to use them to launch into something else...

The first is that classic monologue from the movie Bull Durham.  Susan Sarandon says to Kevin Costner's character, 'Well what do you believe in?'  And his character answers with a long litany of things he believes in.  Write one for yourself.  'I believe pizza is the perfect food.  I believe there is no such thing as a soulmate -- there are hundreds of people I could be happy with.  I believe that if you have salsa in the refrigerator, there's no need for ketchup.  I believe decaffeinated coffee and non-alcoholic beer and low-fat potato chips are stupid -- if you don't want it, don't eat 'em!  When you're writing a story, and you're trying to understand one of your characters, write one of these 'I believe' monologues from that character's point of view.

The second idea is very similar but in reverse.  A big trend is happening on YouTube for people to post video rants.  The standard is that every sentence starts with 'I hate....'  it's actually really fun!  Write one, then you totally have to read it out loud.  Or...  Bring a notebook around with you, or use a notes app on your smartphone, and keep a running list of everything that annoys you, however small, however big.  This one is less planned, because it's based on things happening that you react to during a day or week.  If you're able to do it very detailed, it could be really fun.  Imagine, 'I hate when I type a word wrong and have to hit backspace.  I hate when I spill coffee on my shirt.  I hate when someone's trying to talk to me while I'm trying to write.  I hate that there's a possum in my backyard.  I hate having to go to work.  I hate eggplant.'  You get the idea... it could become a really great journal entry.  Instead of the typical 'Dear Diary, today I went to work, and I'm looking forward to the weekend...'  Again, write one from one of your character's points of view when you're writing.

Prompting through Little Suggestions

I'm working on a story that's growing every week to more than a story.  Suddenly I thought it was possibly a novel.  I've continued to work on it, and it just might end up there.  But now in my head, I realize it would be even better as a screenplay.  I am not stopping.  I'm going to continue to work on it in its current form, because I started it, and I have to finish it before flopping around on the idea here and there, then never finishing it.

But what I wanted to mention is, how it started.  I was sitting on my patio with the laptop, wanting to spend some time writing.  I had no idea in my head at all.  I just started writing from snippets of ideas.  Guy's late for work.  But it doesn't matter, because he's the owner of the business.  But it does matter to his employee who worked the morning shift.  Why is he late?  Did he have a hot date?  No... he stayed up late watching an old movie.  She gives him shit, tells him he needs to get out more.  And the conversation started.  It led to this and that, and I'm on my way.  It's almost equivalent to starting a novel with 'A guy walks into a bar....'

All right, what am I saying? I'm saying that the simplest writing exercise can spark you into something more specific.  That's why I will constantly say, don't use my little ideas and exercises and prompts just for what they are.  Once you complete one, take what you wrote and keep thinking about it.  Break the original exercise's rules or expand it into something else.  Take one of the secondary characters or the scene or anything you can out of what you've written and keep going.  And going.  Write, write, write..

That's why I call this site INSPIRE CREATE WRITE.

Two friends sitting on the porch.  They start talking about a favorite movie.  What movie is it?  Why do they both love it, for the same reasons or different?  How old are they?  How old is the movie?  So how old were they when they first saw it?  Did each of them see it in the movie theater or rented at home after the fact?  A third person joins them.  This third person has never seen the movie and has no knowledge of it whatsoever.

The conversation continues... psst... that's where you come in...

Oh It's Been Way Too Long

I've abandoned you all, I'm so sorry.  You know, it's summer, I'm on the beach 3 days a week... boardwalk, lifeguards, sunbathers, one guy with a metal detector, every now and then a drunk stumbling by.  Write something set on the beach.  No Snooki allowed.

What Do You Have to Do?

Write about a character who rises very, very early one morning and gets up.  The alarm is blaring.  This character would not typically be getting up at this early hour.  Who is it?  And why does he/she have to get up today, this day in particular?  What is it he/she is doing?  Is he/she doing this thing alone?  Is he/she really looking forward to it, is it something that's been planned for a long time?  Or is it something he/she is dreading?  What preparations does he/she have to make right after getting up, and what is going through their minds?

Write your piece as an anticipation story.  What your character is doing and thinking after they get up, and end the piece as they walk out the door (or don't walk out the door) as they face what it is they have to do.

Again, maybe it's a great thing, maybe it's dreadful.  Going to the beach?  For a hike?  Court date?  Funeral?  Don't be easy on yourself with it.

The Lady Is an Inspiration

I have to say, one of my television guilty pleasures is watching Judge Judy.  Her show is real life.  Those people while seemingly crazy or obsessed show you all the real drama going on in the world all around us every single day.  They've just taken their grudges, arguments, fights, disagreements, on TV.

Watch it!  Watch many, many episodes.  Tape a case and watch that case over and over again.  Study the characters.  Study the argument, how they present it, what each of them says.  Two sides of the same argument.  Think about point of view.  Now take that case, use it as your inspiration, and choose your protagonist... it doesn't even have to be one of the two main parties, may be it's one of their mutual friends, a mother or father of one of them, a witness to what went down, a neighbor across the street from the scene of the argument who saw through a curtain, then saw them on Judge Judy, OMG that's the people from across the street!  Write the entire course of events from that person's point of view.  Then come up with the back story.  Write about what led up to it, what happened between the event and how they ended up with an actual lawsuit, how they ended up on Judge Judy.  Work on it until it's a free-standing short story.

Enjoy...

The Return of Tiny Stories

Lisa has been a cheeky little monkey and has found us some editorial help to make something of my sadistic little writing exercise.  So, we will again return to the idea of Tiny Stories as a potentially viable project.  We're still hoping to put a collection of them together as a fundraiser for CBLDF.

To remind you, the exercise is to write a complete ultra-short story that is exactly 100 words long without using the same word twice.

We'll be chatting more as a team to put this together.  For now, I would guess we will focus our theme on sci-fi/fantasy/comic/dark fantasy/horror.  After we chat more, we'll have better direction, but get ready (those of you who find my new blog here).

Practice your Tiny Stories (and big headaches).  Get your fingers typing and your brain cells smoking.

Reality

There are so many horrendous reality television shows.  Remember when we used to call them documentaries, and they actually taught you something or enlightened you?  Now reality is these crazy wackos acting stupid or competing so they don't have to ... go back to reality.  People dance, lose weight, date, make clothes, try to become models, finish a race, all survive in a house, and more.


Come up with your own idea for a reality tv show.  Is it one of the inspiring meaningful ones that changes people lives, like Intervention or Extreme Home Makeover?  Or is it one of the horrendous ones, like Jersey Shore or I Love New York.


Write up a full complete description of what the show will be about, how each episode will be formatted, where it will be set, what does the season lead up to.  Do people get eliminated; how?  Or do we just follow one person around the whole time?  Are there celebrities involved?  D-list?  Z-list? 

Slang

Slang can be some of the most creative use of language.  Having your characters use slang can be much more colorful than using cliches or over-used phrases.  Don't say it's 'as cold as ice.'  Try having a character say something more in tune with who they are. 'It's colder than a witch's titty.'  Instead of 'I gotta pee,' maybe your character would say, 'I gotta go paint the snow yellow.'


There are all sorts of slang terms for things.  Many of them bodily functions, sexual acts, parts of the body,.. dropping the kids off at the pool; having my red dollar days; choking the snake; my one-eyed trouser snake; not the brightest bulb; etc.  I heard a really good one today I"d never heard before, "Ooh, she looked like Chewbacca after a fight down there!"  Try coming up with your own completely unique slang terms.  Make them up totally from scratch.  Remember unique!  And funny is always good...


Think about a context in which some character would use it... try expanding the scene into more.

Just One Minute!

On Sunday, I'll be helping a member of my writing group with the production of a very intriguing project.  He's producing a one-minute film.  A what?  Yes, a one-minute film.  There's actually a film festival here in  New Jersey that presents them.  You'll find a few of them here and there.  Check out the one we have here in NJ at www.filmfestone.com.


I think this is an excellent writing format.  Write a one-minute screenplay!  Keep in mind all the constraints of the form.  Establishing shot, pans, cuts.  Heck, if you have someone pour a cup of tea, it could take 10-20% of your entire screen time to accomplish!  So what CAN you tell in one minute?  What could possibly happen in one minute that entertains or informs?


If you try and don't like it, try again.  And again.  The best problem you could possibly face would be having too much to tell.  Don't you think?


And of course, if you like what you've done, grab a video camera and a few friends and shoot it!

Dialogue

Here's a fun little exercise.  There are a few ways to do it.  This is to train yourself to write realistic dialogue.  First take a recording device along with you, and tape a conversation between a few people.  Maybe it's a few friends or strangers on a bench or in a food court.  Don't worry how boring it is or what they're talking about.  Try getting down at least 2 or 3 minutes of their conversation.  Bring it home and transcribe it word for word.  Put down every hem and haw, every word.


Note how people talk to each other, how they don't let each other finish before they start the next sentence. Do we always speak in proper grammar, complete sentences?


At another time, go out in public and listen in on a conversation between two or three people, but don't bring the recorder.  After you leave, sit down and try to remember the conversation by writing it up from your memory.  Fill in the blanks in your memory with your own creativity.


Now write your own short piece of fiction dialogue.  Hopefully it will be very realistic.  If you find some inspiration, make sure as you go through your days, always be listening!

Constrained Writing Exercise #5

OK, it was the first one I mentioned.  So let's do it!  Write a short piece without using the letter E even once.  My writing group that meets at the Stephen Crane House in Asbury Park is doing it this month, and next meeting I'll be bringing my piece that I wrote.  This is kind of a monologue, so let me give you the scene set-up.  A  man in a cubicle in an office, phone rings, he answers it, and this is his side of the conversation.


Exercise in Constrained Writing: Short Piece without the Letter E:
******************************

“This is Barack Obama, what can I do for you?

Kidding, what’s up?

Oh, totally, I can’t wait!  So, who’s joining us for Happy Hour?  You and I, obviously, and Stan from down in accounting, and that guy who sits across from him.  But I don’t want… you know… that woman joining us… I can’t say who, but I know you know whom I’m talking about…

Ugh, you know, that annoying chick with that horrid lisp, who’s always complaining about this and that.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to ruin a good martini with whining and complaining and talking about work, work, work.

Oh, but what about that guy downstairs… that hot guy with his floppy blond hair.  Ask him to join us.  What’s his story anyway?  Straight?  Gay?  Bi?

Nobody knows?!?  Man, you gotta find out!  His ass is amazing!  God, I would bang him into tomorrow.  Oh, shit, sorry gotta go.  Boss man is calling.  Okay so ask that guy to join us and first round’s on…

What?  No, don’t say I said that!  Sicko!  Oh, but I’m gonna find out all I can tonight.  Okay, two hours to go, you driving or shall I?  Okay, sounds good.  TTFN… huh?  I said, TTFN.  Ta Ta For Now…  OK, I’m out… gotta go"

Emotion -- Frustration

I have this recurring dream of having to be somewhere, but my feet won't work.  I try to run, but I can barely get one foot in front of the other.  It's like I'm in quicksand.  And then, even worse, I get side-tracked by all sorts of things.  And I just can't get done what I need to get done, can't get where I'm going.


My friend was setting up a home theater surround sound and a new Blu-Ray player.  And every time one thing would work, something else would somehow not work.  The store gave her the wrong remote, and for a long time, we kept trying to get it to work with the television.


I recently got a flat tire, and I of course thought, this isn't a big problem. I've got a spare, I've got a jack, this is one of the easy things to take care of.  Yeah, until I couldn't get the lug nuts off the flat, because they were so tight.


Write a short piece of an incredibly frustrating situation.  How does your character deal with it?  Is it just the circumstance, like a lug nut that won't turn, or is there someone causing the problems?  What does your character do, how do they handle it, do they have a freak out or do they remain calm?  Does the situation resolve itself?  How?  Go into great detail about the emotions felt through the process.


Ideas: make it humorous.  Frustration can lend itself to farce.  Or bring your character to the brink of tears or a tantrum.  Do they end up destroying exactly what they were trying to fix?  Glass Menagerie?  Does it really matter anyway, or is it something very small but somehow really matters to your character?  What's insight to your character does the situation present?

Making Things Up

Making anything up is a great exercise for the creative mind.  Anything you make up from scratch in your head offers the chance to practice.  I offer the silliest of little exercises here to keep you working, so forgive me, but if you do find any prompts or inspirations, I've done my work.


There are all sorts of holidays.  The big ones are New Years, Halloween, Fourth of July, etc.  They honor dates from history; the oldest of customs; beginnings, ends; famous historical figures.  The little ones, sometimes created on purpose for commerce; fun; or whatever other reason Groundhog Day or Sadie Hawkins Day came into existence.


Come up with a new holiday.  What does it celebrate?  What day is it?  Is it every year or only some?  What is it based on?  How is it celebrated?  What gets sold, what gets eaten, do people get together for dinner or a party or go out on the town?


Write it up however you want...

Here's What I Think...

Here's a quick non-fiction exercise.  Op-ed pieces are short essays about a current topic of interest, and the author puts their own personal opinion on the subject up front and obvious.  When you're out with friends, and a subject comes up for conversation, aren't there always one or two people who feel the most strongly about it?  They tend to talk the most, the loudest, and their sentences start having more punch.  Everyone trying to sum it up and make it so impossible not to agree with them as quickly as possible.

I'm sure there's something you believe in passionately.  Maybe with humor, or perhaps with cursing or anger, write up as succinctly as you possibly can your feelings on a touchy subject that you feel passionately about.