Constrained Writing Exercise #5

OK, it was the first one I mentioned.  So let's do it!  Write a short piece without using the letter E even once.  My writing group that meets at the Stephen Crane House in Asbury Park is doing it this month, and next meeting I'll be bringing my piece that I wrote.  This is kind of a monologue, so let me give you the scene set-up.  A  man in a cubicle in an office, phone rings, he answers it, and this is his side of the conversation.


Exercise in Constrained Writing: Short Piece without the Letter E:
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“This is Barack Obama, what can I do for you?

Kidding, what’s up?

Oh, totally, I can’t wait!  So, who’s joining us for Happy Hour?  You and I, obviously, and Stan from down in accounting, and that guy who sits across from him.  But I don’t want… you know… that woman joining us… I can’t say who, but I know you know whom I’m talking about…

Ugh, you know, that annoying chick with that horrid lisp, who’s always complaining about this and that.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to ruin a good martini with whining and complaining and talking about work, work, work.

Oh, but what about that guy downstairs… that hot guy with his floppy blond hair.  Ask him to join us.  What’s his story anyway?  Straight?  Gay?  Bi?

Nobody knows?!?  Man, you gotta find out!  His ass is amazing!  God, I would bang him into tomorrow.  Oh, shit, sorry gotta go.  Boss man is calling.  Okay so ask that guy to join us and first round’s on…

What?  No, don’t say I said that!  Sicko!  Oh, but I’m gonna find out all I can tonight.  Okay, two hours to go, you driving or shall I?  Okay, sounds good.  TTFN… huh?  I said, TTFN.  Ta Ta For Now…  OK, I’m out… gotta go"

Emotion -- Frustration

I have this recurring dream of having to be somewhere, but my feet won't work.  I try to run, but I can barely get one foot in front of the other.  It's like I'm in quicksand.  And then, even worse, I get side-tracked by all sorts of things.  And I just can't get done what I need to get done, can't get where I'm going.


My friend was setting up a home theater surround sound and a new Blu-Ray player.  And every time one thing would work, something else would somehow not work.  The store gave her the wrong remote, and for a long time, we kept trying to get it to work with the television.


I recently got a flat tire, and I of course thought, this isn't a big problem. I've got a spare, I've got a jack, this is one of the easy things to take care of.  Yeah, until I couldn't get the lug nuts off the flat, because they were so tight.


Write a short piece of an incredibly frustrating situation.  How does your character deal with it?  Is it just the circumstance, like a lug nut that won't turn, or is there someone causing the problems?  What does your character do, how do they handle it, do they have a freak out or do they remain calm?  Does the situation resolve itself?  How?  Go into great detail about the emotions felt through the process.


Ideas: make it humorous.  Frustration can lend itself to farce.  Or bring your character to the brink of tears or a tantrum.  Do they end up destroying exactly what they were trying to fix?  Glass Menagerie?  Does it really matter anyway, or is it something very small but somehow really matters to your character?  What's insight to your character does the situation present?